Admitting the problem is the first step.....

As a parent I fell into the role of the "nice" parent. When I was married, I was the one who worked. My husband took care of the house and the kids. I worked anywhere from 40-70 hours a week and there were days when I didn't see the kids. I did know that they were taken care of. When I split up with my husband....(sounds funny) I took all four (at the time) of my kids and moved in with my mom. I turned into a stay at home mom who took care of my kids. I felt bad for them that under certain circumstances they couldn't see their father. They blamed me for making their dad leave. Therefor I started to over do things. Like my son, who on his second birthday, I gave him 30 presents. No Lie. He was overwhelmed and didn't really care about a one of them. But this is what I did. I became compulsive about my kids and wanted them to have more of everything than everyone else. I have been doing this for a good four years now. My kids all get new bikes every spring. 15-20 gifts at Christmas. Huge birthday parties. I have had to turn one full room in my house into a walk in closet because they have to many clothes. I just threw away 6 garbage bags of shoes allowing each child to keep 8 pairs including my 1 year old. My children all have tv's, game systems and dvd players in their rooms. And when the character tv's a dvd players came out the plain tv's were replaced with these. Yet they work the same. My children have every game system possible with more games than you can imagine. My 12 year old has her own cell phone and is on her 2nd Ipod.
I never regulated what my kids listened to or watched on tv. I wanted them to know what's out there and to be aware and to do the right thing. This has caused language issues. Nightmares. Horrifying made-up stories. The one good thing is that my children don't use this language outside of the house and actually use manners and are well behaved. One of my family members said "don't teach your kids not to swear, teach them where they can and can't, Eventually they will hear it from somewhere". Somehow this is what happened.
I never made my kids go to bed at a regular time. Causing teachers to call and say that my 6 year old fell asleep in school. OOps. I tried the whole 9:00PM thing. (Anything but 8:00pm, This was my bedtime as a child). They need a drink, a hug, to use the bathroom, or blow their nose. I was lucky if they were actually sleeping my midnight. It seemed easier to let them stay up and fall asleep.
We haven't had a schedule in this house for almost five years. The kids eat when they want, and what they want. Someone is always hungry. It's frustrating.
Alongside everything else I have never made my kids do chores. They have always said "mom's just trying to be lazy, do it yourself". I found it easier to just do it myself than have to yell.
Don't get me wrong, I do have wonderful kids. But I have spoiled the you know what out of them and now they don't appreciate anything. I didn't realize at the time that I was hurting them not helping them. It's to the point where the expect a toy everytime we go to the store or there will be a tantrum right there.
Over the past couple of months my brother has told me "they way he sees it", is that they have too much. He pointed it out at Easter how I normally spend over $100 on each Easter Basket and only to have a huge mess for myself. He informed me that if I cut down 75% and spend $25 per kid that it would save me time and money and a mess, still giving them an amazing Easter. I did this. I cut my cost from $500 to just over $100 and they were still happy. This kind of change I can live with. I just need to be okay with it myself.
This kind of change can only benefit each and every one of us. This is what I mean.
Typing all this out helps me realize how bad it sounds and that this is not right. I don't want my kids to think they have to spend $100 per kid for Easter Baskets. More than likely they won't have the resources I do and will only be frustrated with themselves if they can't.
The Fourth of July is coming up and this one is going to be hard for me..... but I am devoted in bettering the lives of my children.